Thundering Molly

The final, in my Tri-Nations Cider Tournament.

My workplace is a perfect subject for a documentary; full of characters. One of the characters is Ollie. he gets me to book his National Express coach trips, in exchange for cider. Well, I can’t really complain – seems like a fair deal.

He’s given me a bottle of Thundering Molly. I notice the M has been professionally scribbled out with a biro; “Thundering  olly”.Thundering Molly

This is a 5.2 cider by, erm, either Abrahalls, or Celtic Marches. It’s either a quaker drink, or a Glaswegian protest, dunno. Well, it seems like it’s a family business originally from Wales, now stationed in Herefordshire.

Back to the cider. Molly is described as ‘well rounded and medium’, nothing like our Ollie then – bald, svelte and bordering on the extreme. Camp as a row of tents, he is.

Molly is sugary, but in an adult way.  A delicate flavour, gently sparkling, with a light, fruity taste. there’s something Christmassy about her, like the slight sherry whiff of your auntie’s breath at 11am on Christmas day after a course of Fools and Horses seasonal specials. She is rather medium, though. Despite the sexy packaging – which you can now purchase as a tee shirt, (sadly without the Molly Picture) – I’d like Molly to surprise me, a bit more like Ollie’s drag version of Donatella Versace.

I wonder why she’s thundering. headache; bad mood; massive thighs? Mind, Celtic Marshes, with their Celtic symbol logo, mixed with a selection of 1990’s student-project prostitute adverts, and God knows who Abrahalls is, maybe the grandad, all suggests it’s a company in need of some brand identity. Is this cider aimed at women, or elderly bikers?

Though I would’t mind trying the 20L box of still Molly. Then I could die happy.

And probably would.

Verdict 3/5



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